One of the skills that every person needs to
learn and every
organization should offer is how to manage conflicts.
It is fundamental to know how to deal with people who have
different personalities, skills, and abilities; and also with
toxic people who are self-aware or not.
What are the types of conflicts?
There are three main types of conflict:
Relational: Interpersonal conflict due to
different values, mistrust, misunderstanding, dislike, fear,
etc.
Substantive: Disagreement about the
methods or steps (process) to achieve a goal or do an
assignment.
Perceptual: Disagreement about opinions
and ideas.
Conversation between A and B about types of conflict. A asks:
"How to solve a conflict with a colleague?" B responds: "Define
the conflict's type first. Relational, substantive, or
perceptual. Relational is a mistrust or misunderstanding
disagreement. Substantive is methods or process disagreement.
Perceptual is opinions or ideas disagreement. Now, choose the
right solution for each conflict type." By Flinkliv.com
Skills to solve a conflict
Here is a list to solve a conflict:
Empathy: Empathy is the ability to
understand or feel what others are experiencing, see the
situation from their perspective, and imagine yourself in their
place.
Listening: Listening is hearing what
others are saying with no interruption and understanding what
they mean.
Communication: Talk with respect and
calmly.
Conversation between A and B about conflict management skills. A
asks: "What are the skills to resolve conflicts?" B responds:
"Listening, emotional intelligence, and open communication." A
asks: "Is that all?" B responds: "These are the main tools. Btw,
you really need to clean your desk." By Flinkliv.com
Listening
he significance of engaging in active listening aimed at
comprehending the speaker's message, rather than merely preparing
to reply.
Conversation between A and B about listening skills. A asks:
"How to listen?" B responds: "Listen to understand, not to
reply." A says: "That is easy." B responds: "Well, few people do
it." By Flinkliv.com
Understand others and yourself
Understanding others and knowing yourself form a comprehensive
approach to reducing conflict. By cultivating both, you can
navigate life with a greater sense of peace, clarity, and purpose,
minimizing friction both within and with the world around you.
Conversation between A and B about understanding others and
yourself. B says: "Understanding others is smart; knowing
yourself is enlightenment." A responds: "Another fortune cookie
wisdom. Get out of here." By Flinkliv.com
Secondhand stress
The secondhand stress phenomenon is when an individual picks up
another individual's stress.
Conversation between A and B about secondhand stress. A says:
"He is so negative and stressed, so I pick up these vibes too."
B responds: "Secondhand stress effect. Negativity and stress are
contagious, regardless of the source, coworker, news, or social
media." B adds: "You are on mute, right?" C responds: "Nope, I
heard everything." By Flinkliv.com
Toxic people
It is healthy to avoid toxic people, but how often do we look
inward?
Conversation between A and B about toxic people. A says: "So
many toxic people everywhere." B responds: "What about you?" By
Flinkliv.com
Steps to solve a conflict
There is no simple or direct way to solve the conflict. Howerver,
the following steps help you get a better chance to either solve a
conflict or understand the situation and get the right help:
Think and define the type or types of conflict from your
perspective and from his, her or their perspective (relational,
substantive, or perceptual).
Think and write down your and their feelings, needs, wants, and
goals.
Be honest and think about your and their responsibilities in
this conflict.
Now you have reflected on the conflict; it is time to open
dialogue with the other side. Ask open questions to understand
the perspective of the person or group you are in conflict with.
Listen carefully to the person or group you are in conflict with
to understand his or her or their point of view. Stay calm,
avoid emotion, and do not interrupt them or judge them just
listen.
Whether directly or using a third party, get together and try to
solve the conflict.